Tlazocamatli: Thank you, "Gracias"

Recently my daughter was a key player in the organization of a march that would be held in Tucson, Arizona about immigration laws and how they are affecting a wide range of people who are part of the Tucson community.  In the early morning before the march began Allison (her pastor) came over to reassure and pray for her.  She asked our good Lord to bless, protect and guide her throughout the day.

Modern day Nahua

Yet not only did she receive the most needed spiritual intervention from one that shared her own faith, but also received it from an unexpected  member of the community. The local Nahua spiritual leader!  He came over to the premises of the Southside  Presbyterian Church,   where everyone was gathered,  to ask his deities to guide and protect those who would be participating in the march.  She told me how they had called upon the Universe and showered her with incense that would help her win the war.  They painted her face as if she was one of their own warrior women and for one brief second she felt part of these amazing people, even when she is far away from being so.  Even though she is Hispanic, she was basically born in a pop culture society, she is an American citizen by birth right, she is  Christian and so many other things separate her from the Nahua.  But they do have something in common,  they struggle together to fight against a system that hurts and condemns immigrants to living conditions that should bring shame to a country that was born from immigrants.  Bottom line, Tlaoamatli (which means thank you) for wanting to protect the well-being of one of my own.  I have no words that can express how grateful I am for your gesture.  If only,  I could also extend my own hand to be able to protect your people from injustice I would do so.  Yet, the only thing I can do is pray for you and write about your struggles and suffering, which I am more than willing to do.

The Nahua taught us a lesson with their openness and candor that we as Christians are not willing to reciprocate.  Why isn't it possible for all people to come together crossing the bridges that separate us and moving forward in creating a better world. Our country is full of churches, temples, synagogues, and so many other buildings where people gather to worship their own deities, but we are so far away from spirituality and good.

Maybe we do need to call the power of nature from the four corners of our Earth and ask our dear Lord to help us get over ourselves and then and only then will we  be able to appreciate our diversity and rejoice as we build a better today, so tomorrow the Nahua , Christian, Islamic or Jew children (just to mention a few)  enjoy a better place to live.  By doing this we are all contributing in creating a little piece of heaven here in this troubled Earth that we call home.

Crossroads

It is so much better to be a bystander!  Staying on the side of things and having the leisure of looking at others pass along (looking without truly seeing).   Many of us are always trying to keep our feelings and emotions in check, so nothing or nobody can hurt us.  Yet is that real life? Is pain so wrong? If we are brave enough to step into the unknown land of empathy we can grow in stature out of pain, and ultimately change our ways.   

Yesterday I saw in my Facebook news feed a photo of people from Mexico crossing the border and on the picture or on top, there was a question asking if you knew what the national sport in Mexico was, to which then it went on to answer crossroad. It reminded me of pictures of refugees fleeing from their country in lines of two.   It's very easy to make a stupid joke of the problems are world is facing and brush them off to the side as nothing, but the truth is it's not that easy.   When we do brush important things to the side eventually they come back even more harder to deal with.

credit: Trinity at crossroads, In the Cac

Empathy is when we are capable of putting ourselves in the place of others.  We have lost this ability, has it been wiped off all of us?  Is it necessary for us to endure poverty, hunger, violence and the ugly side of living for us to become empathic?  I don't think so!!!!  Empathy will flow when we give all those immigrants in the United States a face, a story, or when we get to know who they are. You may be surprised to find out that you will care after that.  No longer will it be something distant to you.  You will have all these families close to your heart and your prayers and most importantly,  you will want to do something about it even if its only feeling empathy for them.

Probably right at this moment if you stumble across this blog, you'll say well "tough luck" we can't do everything for everyone.  Reality is that they are not asking you do everything, what they want is an opportunity to be able to work.   

Fixing this mess isn't easy and it will take much more than feeling empathy, but at least people around the country should unite their voices and stand strong to demand immigration laws that will protect the nation's borders without compromising the basic human rights all of us are entitled to.  I'm not saying we live without immigration laws, every country needs to have law and order, what I'm trying to convey here is that these laws provide the due exceptions so there fair and human.

Let us stand together in that crossroad and unite while we share a helping hand, hope and the willingness to do something about it.  Life is not about being comfortable, it's about living and living comes with a price tag.  Are you willing to pay the price?

When Compassion Comes In Shades of Blue

"Long lost friend, so good finding you again.  Though I lost my way,

you've been strong enough to stay.  Faithful to the end, long lost friend."

Unknown quote

Sometimes we choose  our friends and sometimes we are blessed with others that tend to fall into our lives by accident.  That's how I ended up meeting one of the most important persons in my life. I've always thought we created a strong bond because we met in very difficult circumstances, and sadly when this time of the year comes around and Summer is just a beat away,  my thoughts become full of our shared memories and the scars I carry from her loss reopen as fresh wounds.  

The circumstances I mentioned previously were that when I met her,  she had just received a kidney transplant and my husband was going through multiple surgeries after his own liver transplant.  We met at Jackson Memorial Hospital the same day I arrived from home a 4th of July.  My father in law (who was taking care of my husband, while I came home to see my children) urged me to drop by this lady's room to say hello (which he obviously had already met).  I wasn't  thrilled about the prospect of visiting some stranger just because she was from Puerto Rico! To get him off my back, I reluctantly stopped by her room,  introduced myself and wished her a fast and complete recovery,  making a quick entry and departure (Speedy Gonzales would have been proud of me!).   I only was able to notice her incredibly blue eyes because she was wearing a disposable mouth protection cap that covered most of her face due to her recent surgery and barely spoke (probably because I didn't give her the chance).  What I didn't appreciate during those brief moments was the compassion those same eyes were capable of showing, which I would have the blessing of experiencing  first hand as our friendship flourished over the years that followed.

During the days and weeks that went on,  things began looking grim for me because my husband was in and out of surgery often.  The "lady from Guaynabo" as I called her,  was also staying  in a close by Ronald McDonald House and some days I would make it there to sleep,  others I would stay in the Intensive Care Unit's waiting room.  I think she kind of "stalked" me ( in a good way), because she began appearing as soon as I would put my key in the door to ask me if I'd had something to eat or just to know how my husband was doing.   I admired her compassion for a complete stranger, she seemed to be genuinely interested,  and I began opening up to her.  After a couple of times we had talked, she introduced herself and  told me her name was Carmen.  I felt ashamed I hadn't even asked her name when I had stopped by her room, and payed back her courtesy by telling her my own name.  

After we were on first name terms,  I began expecting to see her whenever I made it to the house.  Our courteous small talk transformed into long conversations where we would talk about so many things, we related in so many ways I felt I was talking to a long lost friend.  During my worst moments she would invite me to pray with her and later would sing me a hymn she knew by heart.  God has blessed her with a beautiful voice which she kindly shared with me as she  invited  me to sing along.  Those quiet moments helped heal and restore my faith during those troubled times. 

She became my own personal blessing and remained that way until she passed away almost thirteen years ago.   Today,  I can handle remembering her  without feeling the excruciating  pain of the earlier days, but still long to hear her voice on the phone or when we met frequently to see each other.  On the off set of losing a loved one, you can never really convince yourself that their gone.  It's something that takes practice, you need to repeat it over and over, until reality hits you, and you begin to come in terms with your loss.   

Ironically she died on her transplant anniversary and was coming to stay over precisely that same day with her husband and a precious baby boy she had given birth to a couple of years ago. We had planned a fun weekend, full of activities for our children and ourselves.  Everything seemed to be going swiftly, we had talked earlier and were on schedule, she would work until noon and then they would be heading to our home.  We went over the menu and the things that needed to be bought and said goodbye.  A little more than an hour later I received a phone call from her husband, where he would just repeat she's gone.  I felt numb as I listened to him explain that she had been hit by a vehicle as she crossed the street entering the office where she worked,  and had died almost immediately after.   In a twist of fate, we were the ones that ended up driving up to their home to moan her death that weekend, as we faced together the unexpected. If I would recall the moments in my life where I have doubted my faith, this was one of them.  It took me time to come to terms to what had happened and accept her death.   

Life is unexplainable, we just don't know what's going to happen as we wake up every morning.   I surely would have liked to be spared the anguish of living through that awful day, but nevertheless I am thankful she was able to be part of my life for whatever time life gave us. I will always be grateful that unlike me she wasn't pestered to find out how a complete stranger was holding out, and waited for me to show up at the end of the day,  just to ask a polite question, even if I only answered with a few words. She kept coming back,  not knowing that she was building the foundation of a friendship of a lifetime, even if it proved to be  short lived. I carry her memory like a badge on my sleeve, it will always be with me, until my own day comes by.

"Nos vemos en la otra vida, mi querida amiga." 

Overcoming Our Point Zero

This post is dedicated to my husband's donor, 

who gave him the best gift ever

the gift of a new beginning. 

The day we are born is our starting point in life, it's our point zero.  Maybe that's why people usually make such a fuss over their birthdays.  They plan and plan just to decide the best way to celebrate another year of life.  Some of us are such huge fans of our birthdays that we go to extreme measures of extravagance to please ourselves in each and every possible way.  Please, emphasize on the word, ourselves.  But,  do we really think about our lives and what we've made out of them?  I would really like to think that birthdays are more about reflecting on who we are, who we've become, and who we want to be, and less about shopping  for the perfect gift. It's the one day of the year that we need to get over ourselves and take a hard look at our lives. Easier said than done, but in the long run, any effort towards self-improvement is beneficial not only for ourselves, but also for those who surround us.

free clip art: http://amorelegnami.it/images/photos/index.php?p=16

After talking about the general concept of birthdays and all the nonsense that usually accompanies it, what I really wanted to share tonight in my blog, was the fact that my husband not only has one birthday, but two.

He doesn't really fuss about one of them, but makes a great deal about the other.   He was born on a February 28th, (the whole purpose of this one is just seeing plus one on his number line), but reborn again on a June 5th, 1995 when he had the blessing of receiving a new liver.

Every year when this day comes around, he celebrates his second new beginning, or better said,  his second point zero!  Not many people have the opportunity of a second chance not in, but at  life itself.  All the rest of us have just one shot at it.  We are born, live the best we can and one day pass away.  Some don't even make it through childhood, others make it up to a late onset in life, how short or long a life you get to live is and always will be a mystery.  Coming back to Carlos after being diagnosed with end stage liver disease apparently his number line would only reach 27, but miracles do happen and after a few bumps in the road, he was ready to receive his second chance that special day. This year, he reached number 47 on the number line we call life. 

With every sunrise we experience a new beginning.

He doesn't relinquish too much on himself, but in what he is and has been to others.  We have no words or actions to show how grateful we are to his donor's family for giving him the best present ever, his new life.  Not only does he celebrate his own, but also rejoices in the fact that his donor gave him the best present ever, the gift of life.  As I waited that night, I had the opportunity to talk to the husband of the woman who received his pancreas and kidneys and they sure were grateful as well.  Not to mention that I saw his heart and lungs ushered quickly to a waiting helicopter that would take them to Georgia, and last but not least his precious liver that was generously given to my beloved husband.  

When you face this kind of experience you really have no other option that to set  high standards for yourself. That can become a hard pill to swallow, yet he embraced it with fierceness.  Only striving to want to know that he has made a difference for others through his passage in life, that with each sunrise he continues to be worthy, and that when his parting day finally arrives,  he can gaze into the eyes of his children and be able to see that he HAS BEEN WORTHY.


Eighteen years have passed in a wink of an eye, and it seems like yesterday that I waited for precisely around eighteen hours to receive the great news that he had made it through surgery and was recovering in the ICU of Jackson Memorial Hospital in Florida.  Yet, I can say that I have had the blessing of witnessing how a young man became an outstanding human being who at least in my eyes has become worthy of the incredibly valuable gift  that a complete stranger bestowed on him so many years ago.     

 

Attachments: Who Said They Were Wrong?

During the past two years I've heard my fair share of, "don't get to attached, they can take him away." I'll tell you who I'm talking about in a little while.  But first I need to clarify a couple of things, so bear with me.

Another zinger I've heard (which annoys me even more) is,  "Not even your children belong to you in life, so don't get to attached.".  Sorry to differ, but they DO belong to me. They became mine the moment I received the blessing of  carrying them in my womb.  Precisely it was there, where  a life long journey of  caring, loving and looking after them began.  AND (sorry for the conjunction at the beginning of my sentence) I am and will become attached to them!  Let's not leave out the mommies that adopt, who also can and will become attached to their children with the only difference is that they carried them not in their womb, but in their hearts.  Our attachment doesn't mean we're exclusive, it means that we are joined, linked, united, cemented, glued, (and I can go on and on) yesterday, today and forever with them.     

Some of the greatest things in life, begin with thoughts and words.  Life pulls us towards different places we don't even know we want to go to. This can probably explain why every time my husband and me went to the mall, we would end up in the baby department, looking at the cribs, baby cloths, bottles and all the modern baby gear that was available (we had our first child in 1989).  Not only did we do this in the mall, but also in our weekly trips to the supermarket.  Every time we passed the baby aisle, we stopped and talked about all the variety of baby products that were also available today.  We lingered around and then moved on.  With each stop we walked through memory lane and talked about our own children and that's how are yearning was born.  That desire of having our home rejoice with a child's  laughter again was overwhelming, but we really didn't say it to each other.  Probably because neither of us knew how the other would react.  My daughter had brushed it aside saying that we were suffering from the Empty Nest Syndrome.

Our yearning was private, we didn't voice it out.  We just mingled with the idea in our heads.  Up to one day when my husband finally worked up  the guts to ask, "what if we adopt a baby?"  He did it, he had dared to speak out our longing, that wasn't good because we would have to talk about it in a concrete way.  So,  I did what I usually do, I backfired with a million questions and statements. What if we do try and fail?  How are we going to handle the heartbreak? What are the kids going to say?  It's not fair for them! Are you nuts, we are in our mid forties, we should concentrate on us for a change! After a lot of soul searching and going back and forth,  talking or may I say persuading our own children of how great of an idea this was (to which all shouted in protest), our imaginary "baby" became a real possibility.  We decided that our baby would be a girl and began planning, looking for information, getting ready to adopt.

"I wanted to be the healer, but became the healed."

As things turned out, my Myasthenia  relapsed  and so did our dreams of becoming parents again. We were forced to face the fact that my health wasn't up to raising a fourth child.  I gave up on my hopes of  healing, loving and the most important of all, bringing her home.  I would always tell my youngest son, "Somewhere there's a little girl calling my name."  We had taken a step further, and we had already chosen a name for her,  Carmen Isabel.   So you can imagine, what we went through when we faced losing our dream.   As a family we grieved about the baby girl who would never come home with us.  We had become attached to a dream, we had allowed ourselves to cling on to something, but weren't regretting it a bit.  Life brings us joy, but sometimes it also brings us hurt, and there is nothing wrong with that.

What we didn't know was that we were being prepared as a family to receive our newest member.  If you're still reading my blog, come and meet, who people warn me about not getting too attached to....

Ian and me in Franco's Honor List Activity at his University.

 It turned out that my husband's brother trusted him under our care when he was only two months and he turned two a couple of weeks ago (That's another story to tell).  He was formed in another woman's womb, but at the same time was being formed in my heart.  His name is Ian, his mommy chose that name not even knowing what it meant.  The curious thing is that it means, a gift from God.   One of my sons told me a couple of months ago "You know what Mom, you were right about a baby calling you, where you got it wrong was on the sex,  it wasn't a baby girl that was calling your name, it was a boy.".

Once again,  we've faced life with a baby in the house,  and dealt with my relapses along the way.   I wanted to be the healer, but became the healed.  Ian healed my soul and to my surprise my immune system has been much better even since he became part of our lives. We're adjusting, now we don't long or yearn in the mall or the supermarket, but complain (happily) on the soaring prices of baby stuff, but the most important of it all is that  he has become our greatest joy. We are and always will be attached to him, and the best part is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.   

The All In One

I can't get over how doctors today have come to be so wealthy.  At what cost? Our health care system is based on medical insurance premiums and high deductibles. No wonder medicare is collapsing.  We can't live in the past, but hey we should learn from it.


Not so long ago, when I was a child I remember my mom taking me to a run down office (have you ever walked in those designer offices nowadays)  where Dr. Montalvo saw almost all people who lived in the small town I came to live in as a preteen. He basically was the all in one doctor (if that's possible). Which meant he was the pediatrician, the gyn-ob, the hematologist, the dermatologist, the hepatologist, the gastroenterologist, etc., etc.  He would identify a problem and just solve it, if he would want to call a specialist there was some serious s^&%$t going on with you. Back in the day, specialists were for serious business. 

Let's see if this sounds familiar to you.. you're in a medical appointment with a cardiologist for high blood pressure and all of a sudden you remember that your glucose meter has been telling you that your levels are high, you ask him or her about it.  You can't believe your ears when you listen, "You need to see your internist about that."  Gee, haven't all specialists been internists first.  Were they brainwashed when they finished their cardiology fellowship?  Another one I detest is,  "Sorry, but that's not my specialty."  When I come across this baloney I sure would like to be seeing my all in one doctor again.

Another thing that tics me off is that,  nowadays doctors seem to be interviewing you in front of a computer and don't even bother to touch where it hurts.  What happened with the healing hands of a doctor?

My all in one doctor would even get your hemoglobin or urinalysis done on the spot because he would do it there.   He would quickly tell my mom, what was wrong with me and would go on to prescribe whatever I needed to get better.  Usually it would be a prescription my mom could go and buy in the only pharmacy in town,  at more than a reasonable price, and if she was short on money they would even give her the meds on a thirty-day credit note.  Which was basically an entry on a ledger, which she would go and pay when my dad gave her the money to cover the debt.

In the pharmacy she wouldn't be able to buy anything that weren't medicines, no paper towels, no toilette paper, no cosmetics, no hair products, no toys, no pampers, no food, no pictures or picture frames, no magazines and the list could go on and on and on.   Getting the picture here!

I'm thankful for all our medical advances believe me.  I should be, my husband received a liver transplant eighteen years ago.  I myself struggle with an autoimmune disease every day, but sometimes and just sometimes when I'm sitting there for hours and hours waiting, I would like to travel back in time and just be seen by my all in one doctor who relied on  touch and gut to know exactly what was wrong with me. 

The Locked Door

"Tomorrow is a mystery!"  Oh Noooooooooo, here comes this wacky lady with another one of those worn out cliches.  Hold it,  don't kick, sorry I meant click yourself out of my blog. Just stop to think about it, this is not a cliche.  It should become a universal truth to guide us through the choices we make in our lives.

Usually we like open doors, we see what's beyond them and we have no troubles passing through.  On the other hand,  when we have to deal with  a locked door we  become aggravated if we don't have a key. That's how our future is, it's locked and the worse part is that you don't have the key to unlock it until it becomes your present.

Even if tomorrow is our worse mystery, we're always making plans to do this or do that, never stopping to consider that we may not even see that day come by.  You know,  I learned this lesson the hard way.  I thought, well my life is planned (my husband and me thought that just by saying it out loud are plans were going to fall through)   and all of a sudden when my door was unlocked - - -BAM-  - - it didn't turn out as I planned. I would have liked to scream out of frustration, but I did what I always do, move on.

Now this can be a tiny bit hard to deal with.  Some of us say, "You need to plan your future now, the time is right.", others may say "You never know what can happen tomorrow." meaning don't do anything about IT.  But, where can we find the perfect balance?

I have come to learn that we can find the perfect balance today, but don't forget to bring your yesterday into the picture.  All of our experiences form us, and make us what we are.  So, YES yesterday is important, but today is the time to make a difference in your tomorrow.  Live your today wisely,  responsibly,  go a little bit crazy once in a while, because if you don't you're just a living corpse, and most of all treasure all that is important to your heart (this means take care of your spirituality).

Don't take me wrong, material things are also important.  Who ever said that material things weren't is lying and probably just wants to rip you off.  We need things to be able to survive and give us comfort as well, just don't get to greedy and keep close to your heart those who don't have as much as we do.

Last, but not least I want to mention a  blog written by Feminista Jones, I recently read, where she talks about the insights her mom gave her on life and relationships.  One of the most interesting parts were these words,  "Don't look into the future because it's already written...we just have to play it out as it comes."   A very wise lady if you ask me, let's take her little piece of advice and our locked door isn't going to aggravate us as much anymore.  Life is what it is, you just have to figure out how you play along with it. 

Coming Home

"Our world is a mess and I can't do anything about it!" Gee, what an easy and lazy statement and to think it came straight out of my thoughts.  Actually, I think it was my self defense that kicked in after coming across two situations that appealed to my heart.  We're so caught up trying to avoid situations that can disturb our way of life that we've become isolated to what's going on around us.  The trend is to be as individualistic as you can, everything is about me and only me.  I've heard many times people I know say, "If it doesn't affect me or my family,  I can't deal with that right now." This is like going to the dentist, if you fix a cavity you'll improve your oral health and ultimately save not only the tooth that had the cavity, but also everything that surrounded it.  If we use this same approach, resolving these issues will lead to building a better community, country and ultimately a better world.

One of my situations was how I felt after reading  K. Mark Koenig 's blog about the problems Palestine refugees confront everyday.  It shocked me to know how they faced being basically homeless, and struggle with their new life circumstances.  To make things worse, not only they live surrounded by these awful  circumstances, but as icing to the cake they also face situations where their life is often threatened.

As their days fade into the night, they can't just go home as we do everyday.  They can't leave towards their safe haven because they don't have one, they were forced out of it by circumstances out of their control.

"I see them as they go home at the end of the day...I want to go home to." Ronald Davis

Another story I could have spared myself from listening, was Ronald Davis' story.  As I heard him speak, I began feeling smaller and smaller, until nothing was left.  Saying that we're full of sh&%$t is an understatement!  Just having food, shelter and some level of peace is being filthy rich for some that don't have a dime to their name.   Nothing I can write can come close to the shattered speech of being homeless

    

Davis himself gave to the person who interviewed him.  This was over a year ago,  and it wasn't until this video became viral,  that attention wasn't  drawn to him.  He's only one of the thousands who face living in the streets in the United States every day.  He's a face that had the blessing of coming into the public eye due to social networks, and I'm more than sure he's very happy about it.  Help came on it's way for him and that's great, but what about the others?

Just knowing sometimes is unbearable!  Again I could go back to my opening statement and simply walk away.  Or on the other hand,  I could try to complete one act of random kindness to the next homeless that crosses his or her life with mine, reaching out and trying to help.  It's painful just to acknowledge how wrong some things are.  Yet we need to face the ugliness, heartbreak, loneliness and sorrow that some live through very close to what we call home.

That same ugliness is also found many miles away.  It's easy for us to buy something from China or any given country on E-bay, but are shy just giving a few bucks to a great cause abroad. Which is as simple as a click on Paypal.  The Palestine refugees Mark talks about struggle against getting just one dollar a day.  Being proactive in our world is just another form of globalization, the only thing we need to do is embrace and act on it.  

Wanting to reach out comes with a price!  It's like willingly putting yourself out there, in the unknown (a place that can bring us pain and frustration),or becoming vulnerable, yet I think I can  pay the price. Can you?









 




K. Mark Koenig

A New Thread of Terrorism: Crime

Much is said about terrorism  and how it affects all of us.  Many want to link it to specific people and causes, but we’re not aware of a new thread of terrorism.  It’s called crime.  Crime is faceless, unmerciful, knows no creed, or follows no rules.  We’re up against something almost impossible to fight, because it’s wide spread all across the United States, Puerto Rico and the world.   

 

Image credit: toonpool.com

You can say, “Well, this lady is nuts because terrorism is  not about crime, it’s about politics and people who hate the United States.”  Terrorism is more than that, it’s about being coerced into a way of life,  in this case one that  we don’t want for ourselves.  It’s about being afraid to even go out to your own front or back yard because you just don’t know who can be lurking around your house.  It’s about having to purchase a gun to protect our family, it’s about losing our faith in our government, it’s about feeling vulnerable, and most of all feeling we’re up against anybody or everybody.

Terrorism is about having to purchase a gun to protect our families..

More than a year ago, my sister in law suffered a home invasion.  Thank God they weren’t there, and the criminals got in and out taking with them all they could.  I was home, but not feeling well that day, so I really didn’t see or hear anything.  To top things, someone seemed to be using a weed trimmer, and the noise these gadgets make is pretty deafening. So it kind of mumbled the noise they were making when they broke open her windows.

That unsettled all of us! To think that complete strangers barged into her home,  felt like a violation to her life.  Just thinking about all the things they touched or looked through, or just simply by being inside,  gave me the creeps.   We didn’t sleep much that week, just listening to the sounds of the night.  We were terrorized about someone gaining access to our home with us inside.  If that’s not terrorism, then I just don’t know what terrorism is.

Bottom line, I really don’t know what to say.   All kinds and sorts of terrorism will strike again and again, and we have no way of really protecting ourselves.  We don’t know from where or when it will through us a blow.  Because that’s how terrorism works, yet if we succumb to our fears they have won.  They’ve accomplished their purpose, we are living in fear.

In The Event Of Something Happening To Me...

April is organ donation awareness month, and  as a true believer in organ donation, I can't pass out on the opportunity of blogging about it. I'm not going into the facts about organ donation and how you can register to become a donor because that information is just a click away.   At Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh you can find great information on organ donation, and if you want to hear some incredible stories feel free to visit Transplant Friends.  Each story is compelling in it's own way.

This been said, let's get down to the nitty and gritty  of organ donation. First, nobody and when I say nobody, is prepared to face the difficult situation of having a transplant coordinator come up and ask you to donate your loved ones organs, even if he or she expressed in life that they wanted to become donors. 

I can only imagine the expressions of the family, as a complete stranger,  that seemed to be waiting on the side,  jumps in and asks the terrible question of,

-"Have you thought about donating "Jane or John Doe's" organs?  - (Remember we're making this up.)

Then continue to talk about the process, the marvelous thing you are doing for others, and the cliche "You are giving a gift of life." to another person (which is totally true).  In the meanwhile the person is in  total and complete shock,  they are speechless, the pain and grief of loosing that important person in their lives is overwhelming.  How does a person overcome this kind of tragedy and goes on to agree to donate?

I would think that some kind of conversations should have taken place with the donor prior to that moment in their lives. Maybe the donor at some point voiced his/her wishes and during those brief minutes, time is suspended and they hear his or her voice loud and clear.

 -"If anything happens to me, remember to donate my organs."

This is precisely why we need to talk about organ donation in the intimacy of our family circle.  These are conversations that are dreaded and seldom do we want to talk about death after dinner, but we need to get it out in the open.  Specially with the alarming statistics of people that die each day waiting for an organ donation.

Let's talk to our family, friends and anyone that needs to know how we feel about organ donation.  If you  want to become a donor voice it, and if you don't,  voice it as well.  Either way, it's fine!   Be sure that your family hears your voice loud and clear above all the grief and pain they are feeling than and there, and are able to follow your dreams of doing something worthy up to the last chapter of your life.









  

Live Slowly: A Command Hard to Follow

This short sentence is a command.  Live slowly. It tells us to take one thing at a time as we live our lives. It's easier said than done because we usually get unsettled by any event that clashes into our lives with no notice.  I heard these two words about seven years ago, when I was still was undiagnosed for Myasthenia Gravis.

Even though I wasn't feeling to great, it seemed my life was better than okay.  I had turned forty in March (wasn't precisely crazy about that), was back at school to complete my masters in Literature, had been granted with the blessing of a T.A. (that meant free tuition), was working,  everything at home was fine, so I brushed off my symptoms all together.  As the semester was closing in I began to feel so sick it wasn't funny, and still I thought that it was stress and possibly I was pushing myself to hard, or it was simply in my head.  To make the VERY LONG STORY short I ended up in the Intensive Care Unit of a nearby hospital at the end of October. Myasthenic patients can go very easily in cardiac arrest if we're not on our meds.  The doctor's didn't know what was happening with me, so the only thing each and everyone one of them told me that I needed to take things slower.

Actually what does it mean, to live your life slower?  It's so easy to write or say and so hard to live up to. People who live their lives slowly have way to much time on their hands and heads.  You begin thinking and rethinking your life over and over again.  The sad part is that usually your thoughts aren't pleasant, all you think about are the treacherous "what ifs".

When someone is facing an illness, they shouldn't have to face those two dreadful words.  Live slowly. They should be able to just shake it off, regain their health (even if you have a chronic disease) and continue to live your life as always.  There are many things you can do to become pro-active in regaining your health.  For starters, you can begin by eating healthier and continue to adjust other tiny things that at the end are going to make a huge difference. I'm not a country music fan, but I love a song by Tim McGraw  where he sings that if he would be told he was dying he would go sky diving, rocky mountain hiking and he would ride a bull who's name was Fumanchu...  In other words, he would live his life without regret and that's what precisely we need to do.  Just keep on going and live our lives as we please, slow or fast, not forgetting that we are the ones in control not any medical term used to chain us down to a life we don't want for ourselves.  

Please, sit still!!!!

How can we renew our minds?  Our mind is so unique as ourselves because it contains our bare essence.  We can cover up flaws we may have in our bodies dressing a particular way, or we may diet,  or even have plastic surgery done so we can fix whatever it is that we think is wrong with ourselves. Yet our minds can not undergo any plastic surgery, we are what we are and none other than ourselves can change that. 

The wise man who wrote “..be transformed by the renewing of our minds” in Romans 12:2 was totally right when he put together these two powerful words  “transformed and renewed”.  We can absolutely change our ways when we bring into the picture new concepts and mental structures and feel different about ourselves and the world that surrounds us. 

If this is so, why do we always want to stay where we are?  You know what, because we’re darn lazy!  We don’t want to be transformed because we just might want to do something about it.   A great way to renew our minds is to ask ourselves questions.  Not any type of questions, but those who may transform  how we feel about mostly everything that makes up our lives.  

Benjamin Franklin would reflect on his day when he settled to rest at the end of it.  He would think in ways he could improve himself and would live abiding some very specific principles he had set for himself.  He was a hyperactive being and constantly transformed himself through the renewal of his mind.  No wonder he invented so many things, became of self made man and so many other incredible things.  Taking on his technique about reflecting or meditating or whatever you want to call it is not such a bad idea after all because it doesn’t let us fall into our comfort zones, where everything is black and white with no shadows in between.  Have you been around a child that is always moving?  If so, you probably know that it bothers most people.  These children usually hear more than they should, “Would you please sit still.”.  That’s what we do when we become adults, we sit still in body and soul.  Our thoughts also sit still, we don’t want to move or change because that’s what we would were told to do.

Life is about shadows...not everything can be categorized into tiny or large boxes.  We have to be able to cope and improve ourselves doing just that.  Reflecting on ourselves and not focusing on how others should improve.  We’re great doing precisely that, telling those who surround us close and afar how they should live their lives.  Stop!!!!! Let’s look at ourselves for one minute and learn how we can change our minds to become transformed in a world that desperately needs transformation.

Great site to check on:  Image credit:  Sit Illustration The Meditation Cartoon Book ( http://sitillustrated.com/)

Life Is A Story

Last Sunday I felt the warmth of a hug that was given to me by someone very dear to my heart. I have the blessing of going to the same church as my 8th grade Spanish teacher.  Way back then, I knew I wanted to become a teacher someday and I admired her as one.  I would love the way her classroom was organized, how she cared for her books, and for her students.  But most of all I would admire her the most for loving what she did.  She engaged her students in the novels we HAD to read for her class.  You know, during all my years in school in Puerto Rico those became the only novels I did read out of joy, even though it started out as an obligation.  I will never forget "Maria" and how she fought against a rare disease; nor will I forget "Marianela" and her quest for love despite her ugliness. The joy of getting to know these characters were all because of her.  

After her hug she went on to tell me that she admired me and that I had surpassed her as a teacher. I was speechless for a moment and only went on to hug her again.  I hugged her not only because of what she told me, but for what it meant for me.  I traveled back in time, and saw her classroom, her desk sat on the left side of the classroom and our desks were arranged in rows of two facing each other. Her classroom resembled a square.  It was liking seeing two persons one young and one old.  Not old in a bad way, but old as in wise and cultivated by her years and experience in life.  Her voice has become subtle during the years, but still has traces of how vibrant and strong it used to be.

I know as a fact that today she struggles to overcome many things in her later years, but she does it in an elegant way.  She stands tall, even when her shoulders carry the burden of loosing a child to cancer when he was only ten or eleven.  It should have been hard to keep her family going when facing such a tragic event in their lives.  I'm more than sure she stumbled along the way, but at the end she ended up raising her daughter and son to be two incredible adults and managed to keep her family going.    

As her words mingle around my thoughts, I can only hope to one day face life in  my older years with the elegance and wit of my dear teacher that has overcome so many things during her own life. Her voice will still be part of my adolescent years when she would ask in her vibrant voice, "What did you like the most of this story?", because life itself is a story and you are the one who writes it every day.  

(image credit: http://www.jackheimbigner.com/life-is-a-story/)
  

The Miracle of Change

Listening to what we don't want to hear is hard.   Our defenses are high and if we do listen, it's going to take more than a minute for what is being said to  sink in. That doesn't mean we are going to do anything about it.   This is one of the reasons that so many relationships go under board. Those defenses that I talked about a minute ago are going to grow rapidly as we listen to what is being said, specially if we don't like it.  A couple of years ago I held a strong grudge against an old friend and would not let it go.  My oldest son gave me a reality check on how things had gone and why he thought that we both acted against our friendship.  He also told me to let it go because I wasn't going to gain anything good out of all those negative feelings I was holding inside.  The only person I was damaging was myself.  That day I received the first smack in the face of my life, it didn't feel good, but I was able to snap out of that horrible grudge.

Over the years many of us get stuck in our own ways.  I would love to emphasize the word "stuck" because it means there is no way we're moving.  We are up to our knees in cement, meaning that change is not an option.  We just stand where ever we are and not move!  No kidding so many of us have a mid life crisis.  Sometimes we fill our thoughts with the famous what ifs...., what if God can do this or that.  This or that can have a very broad range,  those what ifs can go from saving the life of a terminal cancer patient up to finding a job.  We're so caught up handing all our problems to God that we overlook the miracle of change itself.   God has given us the capacity of changing our views and ways to set a new path for ourselves and others as well. I've learned to listen to my daughter over the years,  even though sometimes it's gone wrong and we've end up bickering and mad at each other.  Yet we overcome our anger and begin our conversations all over again.  It doesn't matter if we do fight sometimes over things we don't agree, but we keep on working on it.  The important part is that we listen and try to understand each other.

I consider change to be a miracle because of its  cause and effect relationship.  Let us say for example if we change our perspectives on things like: homosexuality, we become more tolerant with those that surround us; the homeless, we become proactive in helping them overcome this way of life; and on drug addiction, we may find ways of helping them overcome their addiction.  In all these possible changes we are getting involved and that's precisely what God want us to be. On the other hand, if we stay as we are, looking from afar, how can we make that miracle happen?   The other day I read an interesting post on Facebook, it was a thank you prayer.  It got me thinking about my own thank you prayers, how many times have I thanked God for his blessings, but done nothing for others.  I felt like a phony!!!  We need to overcome our ways and move on to a change not only in our spirit, but also in our day to day actions.   

God has created our world and He didn't make it still, but dynamic.  This amazing World we live on is always moving, changing, in constant evolution, and I ask myself, why can't we be the same?   I know for a fact that it can be hard because I myself am as stubborn as a donkey.  Nevertheless, I'm sure that after we take time to listen to the many voices that surround our lives we will be heading towards the right direction, the direction that God has set for us.  The direction that will bring small miracles in our journey through life, that same direction will substitute the what ifs and make them only hows.  Instead of saying what if God did this or that, we will begin saying how can I make that happen not only for me, but also for others. So let us all embrace change as part of God's plan for us, because when everything has been said and done, we'll finally understand  that's what living is all about!

(Image credit: http://www.amreshkumar.com/2011/01/14/hoping-for-a-miracle/)

Specs in the Universe

Every once in a while we meet people that are self centered, selfish, and rude.  Even if you would want to (which I don't) there is no point in trying to disguise the truth of their description.  As a matter of fact,  there are a couple of more adjectives that could have been employed and were not!  When you do come across them, it's hard not to become infuriated because they just (bottom line) piss you off.


People that have the liability of being to full of themselves don't realize that we are merely specs in the Universe.  Have you ever wondered in awe just gazing up to sky at night?  Looking at all those stars up there, most are not even there anymore.  Just amazed that you are alive.  Most of all,  you just wonder why are we so full of sh...t.  We are merely one particle in this world, if we think about the Universe we're not even close of being a particle.  Our Island with it's four million in population in a particle in the Universe.

We have so much that we can offer and do for others.  We can come together as we collaborate with one another as we  build a community where we can all live in peace with one another.  For this to become a reality, we need to be tuned in with our inner empathy.  Most relationships today are built upon a "need".  I'm not talking about "need" in a good way, but in a way that we usually are seeking something we "need" when calling or getting acquainted with people.  I've heard more than once the phrase, "they call if they need something".  What a pity!  The beauty of society is that we can build something beautiful out of mutual need.   This "need" is where mutual companionship, respect, friendship and love are combined together and we have the opportunity to give and receive. Don't ever doubt that giving is as important as receiving.

Life is but only a minute in eternity.  What we do with that minute is up to us.  If your not sure where you stand, just take a moment and look at the sky during the night.  That's what I do, so I don't get to full of myself. You may feel amazed of how fast you forget about yourself and think about where we stand in the Universe.  So, the next time you stumble upon a rude, selfish, loud and full of himself or herself person just think about the Universe and they wont seem as important anymore.

(Photo credit: http://www.universetoday.com/36425/the-universe/)

Coming to Life: A Liberating Experience

The Holy Week has become something that means so many different things to so many different people.  For some it's about getting some time off work  or school, and for others it's all about the Christian celebration.  Sorry if I'm not politically correct for citing or using something I heard at church, (but as they say you need to be careful with what you say because as soon as those words come out of your mouth you've lost the power over them, they become public domain) whereas it was being said that it's okay to go to the beach on Saturday, but we better be in church on Friday.   That "better" was said in a solemn foreshadowing tone as to doom and destruction will overcome your life any minute after you dare to think of missing on those exciting "Seven Words" we all know by heart.

Our Holy Week church programs have become a routine, once a year, celebrations.  We listen to the same old, same old each year.  Why don't we try to get something new out of it this year?  You would think to yourself is that possible? This lady has to be nuts!  Jesus begins entering Jerusalem on a donkey on Sunday, dies during the week and we witness his resurrection on Sunday and then take our kids egg hunting with the cute little bunny and all that candy pumping through their veins, so it's more than certain will end up exhausted after trying to pull and push them until they finally fall asleep.  Once it's over, we wont remember about it until after Valentine next year.  So, what was exactly behind all that mumbo jumbo anyway?

This year so I can keep my 2013 resolution on track (as to "being truthful to myself at all times" with roughly translates into not taking crap from anyone) I'm approaching the Holy Week with a totally different approach.  Some may say irreverent or non-appropriate after reading my post's title because the reader may think it's about sex, but for the writer it's just fine anyway.  What is it with sex anyway?  God created us sexual beings, He made us in a way that not only we can reproduce ourselves, but also we can have plenty of fun as we do it.  Sexual fun and pleasure is definitely something very liberating, it frees our minds and spirits if and when we're with  the right person. You just don't get more honest than that.  When your engaging in sex there is no hiding, your partner, spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever you want to call that person will see you as you are.  Naked!   Maybe your thinking right now as to what in the world does this have to do with the Holy Week?

This is a no brainer answer, it's all about the Holy Week.  Don't take me wrong your not going to find anything related to this in the Scripture or any theology that will try to prove something, but me or you can not deny that this is the same way God sees us.  Naked! We can't hide anything from him, He sees us as we are.  Naked on the outside and in the inside.



Let us believe that this Holy Week can bring us back to life and at the same time we may feel liberated enough to begin seeing ourselves like God does and make the changes we need to make.  Not because Jesus is being crucified all over again or because He will rise from the Hades and return to his Father's presence and become one with Him, but because deep inside us the breaking news of his sacrifice is still fresh and alive.  That we are not part of that anonymous crowd cheering as He passed and then witnessing his death without even raising a finger to stop it.  That we don't act like that same crowd when they dispersed among the Hebrew community in the Roman Empire, but act as the loving community of faith we're intended to be.  That we are able to witness that our Lord was sent to the death row by his own people's desire of blood shedding, and learn that sending our own criminals to the death row would prove nothing useful other than satisfying our own need of blood shedding.  That we are no different from them, but anyway God has loved us enough to try to continue to rescue our souls into eternity.

Lets us come to life, not as the persons we were but a much better version of it.  I'm more than sure that this is what this is all about.  Coming to life, enjoying the process and becoming liberated of the nonsense we tend to surround ourselves around.  I only wish for myself and for anyone else that is willing to shed our garments of purity (that's sarcastic by the way) to receive the news of salvation as a wide eyes open experience where hiding in those same garments isn't an option anymore.

(Photo credits: Stephanie Quintana, Sunflowers 2010 "The Miracle of God's Creation")

A Cry From Heaven

 As my nephew slash,  godchild slash,  son dozes into la la land every night he loves to caress my face with his  tiny and soft hands.    I really can't figure out why he does this, probably it makes him feel safe.  He's been doing it for a while, but I can't pinpoint when he exactly began this little routine.  He's turning 23 months old this next Sunday, he's only one month away from entering "the terrible twos" as they call them.  Like any innocent child, Ian trusts me beyond anything else.  He knows that if anything happens to him, as he calls out my name I will rush to his side to try my best to fix whatever is wrong. Tonight as he performs his little routine my thoughts rush off to a family that lost their six month old infant as he suffocated to death because his daddy forgot he was in the car.

In it's alarming statistics  the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) has informed that from 1998 to 2012 five hundred twenty seven (527) children have died of suffocation.  Basically these children were left by their parents in the car to die.   For the last couple of days as the news of this senseless death is covered by the media, my husband has tried to bring up the topic a couple of times to which I always answer with a frown and a "don't want to know anything about that terrible accident".    As I call it an accident I wonder if it truly was an accident.  Accidents can't be avoided and this little baby's death could have been.  The few facts I know about the family is that his dad worked in a Toyota dealer (where the baby boy actually passed away) and his mom is a special ed teacher, and that they had planned this baby.  Planning means taking time to think things over, to wait for the right time, to have enough space in your home to receive the newest and most precious member of the house, but above all when we plan something it's because we really want it to happen.

So, what happened along the way?  Do we become so caught up  in the things we need to do because of a job or any other thing that we oversee the really important things.  How can a dad just forget his precious cargo was with him, what thoughts rushed through his mind as he closed the door and forgot about his baby?  I don't know,  neither do I want to know the baby's name because I would begin getting to know him on a more personal level which would make things even more difficult for me. I don't want to be judgmental of the father because he has enough to bear with as it is.   

 Although this is an immense tragedy it gives us the opportunity of learning from it.  All parents around the world should create awareness of the importance of double checking your child's safety at all times at all places.  For which, every time I put Ian in his car seat I open the driver's door up front before closing the side of my mini van because by no chance do I want the doors closed as I still am standing outside of the vehicle. Sometimes as I slide the door and it closes and he is not able to see me he calls out, "mama!!!" with a little distress, to which I always answer with an " I'm right here sweetie".  

I'm more than careful with these precautions due to another story about a two year old  that died suffocated after her mom left her in the car and stepped into her office leaving her to die alone. Often I would think about the little girl calling her mommy's name as she suffocated;  I would think about the heat she took inside that car; and, I would think about how she cried.  Those terrible thoughts haunted me taking my inner peace as my heart went out to that child.  

More than once I've thought about what happens to us when we die?  Does an angel sent by God come to take us to heaven?  I really do hope so because this is the only thing that can take the suffering away when thinking of all the innocent children that die each year because their daddies or mommies forget about them and leave them to die in the car.  Each and every time one of his youngest die,  our loving heavenly  Father wails so strong and loud that it has to resemble the fury of the winds of a hurricane.  We can find stories of angels throughout the bible, but the one that stands out among them all, is when Lazarus dies and as we read in Luke 16:22 it says  "the angels carried the spirit of Lazarus to Abraham's bosom when he died".  Angels were sent by our Father to carry his spirit in a soft and gentle way, taking him home.  I'm more than sure that the spirit of the baby boy was also taken by angels that not delivered his spirit to Abraham but returned it to God himself because He as his loving father would never leave him uncared for.       


 (Photograph credits:  www.wallpaperweb.org/wallpaper/nature/stormy_sky.jpg)
  

Cancer 101

 I'm NOT  a Harry Potter fan and never will be, but I made the mistake of buying one frigging book for my kids and they were hooked.  Obviously, I ended up taking them to some of the movies and they took themselves to see others.  Anyway what I do remember was that none of the characters could say the name "Voldemort".  I can still remember the faces of the actors as they would say the word, if you were ten or less it would scare the crap out of you.   It was as if evil and destruction would be bestowed upon anyone who said the forbidden word.  That's how cancer is, it's the word we don't want to say in the same sentence as the name of any of our loved ones.  It's like when I say something that my mom doesn't want to hear she promptly responds with a "God forbid". Bottom line, we don't want to deal either the word or the illness even if our doctor tells us that today it is as frequent as a common cold.  We've have to say like my mom "God forbid" every time we say it out loud.  

A memory that will be with me forever, was the day my mom had her follow up appointment after a breast biopsy, and her doctor began explaining something about it.  As he spoke I only would see his mouth open and close, so I interrupted and asked him, -what was he saying? I felt dumb because I didn't or wanted to understand what he was trying to tell us.  To what he replied with a simple, "Your mother has breast cancer." I felt like my shoulders were carrying the burden of two cement blocks, one on each side.  Devastated is short to express my feelings, literally I felt I was drowning.  It became so unbearable that I needed to  step out of the office for a moment and get a grip of myself.  I knew that whatever needed to be done, had to be dealt with.  As I walked inside, I saw how my mother straightened her back, took a deep breath and listened to what we needed to be doing in the next couple of days.  She was definitely on board to do whatever was needed. I think she was more worried about how I was feeling then about herself, that's how great moms are.  Now my problem was I had to get going, but didn't know how. Cancer doesn't come with a handbook or you can't enroll in a course to learn on how to deal with it. You have to create your own Cancer 101 customized just for  your individual learning. The course syllabus is just going to be for you and your family.   

So, she went through all the ups and downs of her treatment, thank God her tumor was capsuled in and had not spread anywhere, which meant no chemotherapy for her.  But she did receive about thirty-five radio therapies in a nearby facility, and ever since she's been free of cancer.  I gotta tell you that every time she gets a pet scan done, anxiety becomes my friend for a couple of weeks and goes away when the results are ready to be picked up and good news is delivered.  Nevertheless,  everyone that has survived cancer has to go through this and when the results are fine you just say a prayer of thanks and move on.  My heart goes out to all those patients and their families that don't receive good news and need to go through all the process again.  It's like having a trip full of jet stream and realizing when you land safely that you need to get on that turbulent plane one more time because you arrived at the wrong destination.

Going back to my mom,  she would tick me off  when she would tell me that God had allowed the disease to overcome her.  She would say it in a stoic and steady voice.  To which I would promptly reply that God hadn't allowed anything, reality was she had cancer and that even though that was a bad thing,  He would see us through. In my mind I can't work up the fact that God would allow something bad to happen to her.  I'm more than sure He would not want her to go through all the pain and suffering of dealing with the illness and with the treatment, not to mention the aftermath of it all.  I like to depict God in my mind as a loving and nurturing father, and as a fact no father would want his child to go through cancer.  Patients nor the family should think that it is God's will for us to endure this type of thing.  Cancer itself is hard enough.  

As our loved ones and ourselves face cancer coming around  to accept it  is the hardest part. Loosing our health is hard and even harder when you know that things will never be the same,  because no matter the outcome you will always be afraid that cancer can or will come back.  These are pretty hard words, but it's best to confront reality that hide from it.  This  understanding will  empower you to do something about it for yourself and for your family.  If we fail to fully acknowledge it,we will fail in trying to fix whatever is wrong.  For cancer patients and their families there is always a dreadful thought that lingers in the back of their heads.  It lingered at mine, what if mom's cancer spread somewhere, what if she looses her battle against it, those "what ifs" were killing me.  So, I decided to just deal with the daily issues that came along, and leaned on whatever could help me get through it.  

That's where the stories of the many survivors kicked in.  They were my reference link in my syllabus.  My reading list included the stories of  all those people, who went through the same things and all are just fine.  Those stories enlighten our spirits and fuel us to move forward.  Not only do we hear them avidly,  as if they were the water of a very thirsty man, but we repeat them to our loved ones.  How often have I heard people say to cancer patients, "Don't worry to much, I know a person that had the same type of cancer you have and he or she is doing just darn well.".  It's always good to know your not alone! Feeling lonely is the most terrible thing a person can go through when facing such a terrible illness.  That's why activities like the relays that the American Cancer Society and Susan G. Komen organize are so important, and even more important is the support we as family can give them.   

As you navigate through Cancer 101 in the early stages of the illness, you will have good or great days, thank God for those, but you are also going to live through bad or super bad ones.  Those are the ones you will dread to face, but life needs to go on.  Nobody can stop our clock from ticking and even if we think that tomorrow holds little or nothing to look forward to, it will get here anyway.  You'll need to do like my mom, straighten you back, and inhale a deep breath, grab your Cancer 101 handbook,  and get on board, either for your sake or your family's one.   At the end of it all, God will be with you like a loving father all the way.


(This post is dedicated to my mom and my father in law which are both very dear to my heart.
Photography:  My father's in law 70th birthday.  Both turned 70 last year.)