The Blessing of Unhappiness

I feel sorry for the people who aren't beautiful, or skinny, or hydrated, or into exercises, or into health food, or with their hair done, wearing designer cloths or  don't  have their kids  in private schools, or  have great houses, or have  new cars, or have great jobs, etc. etc. etc.  I can probably go on forever because the list seems to be endless.  Those of us who have a couple of these things, but don't have them all strive in getting the ones we're missing because unless you have a check mark in all of them you are a complete loser.

photo via morgueFile

Now, some of you who read my blogs are going to think what happened with the lady that crusades for those who are hungry, for immigrants, for social justice and above all for change?   Did she see one of those  aliens she talks about sometimes and some secret government officials (like those we saw in Men in Black) erase her memory?

Let me soothe your troubled minds, it's still me!  Now comes the interesting twist.....it amazes me how obsessed we are with so many things! Do we need to be or have all of these things to be happy?  If so, what do you think  happiness is all about?

Some of us aren't as lucky to be able to acquire all of these fancy things, so maybe we are unhappy.  So unhappy that we can appreciate the beauty of each sunrise and reflect on the wonder of sunset, so unhappy we can rejoice in the company of our children (even if we can't afford to send them to a prep school and have to take the trouble of homeschooling them), so unhappy that we need to cook our own meals and share them together,  instead of eating out all the time, so unhappy we can't wear the colors designer clothes are launching for the season, because we or our husbands don't have high paying jobs (which usually come with demanding schedules and stress lead lives), so unhappy we can only afford having our same furniture that hold precious memories from our children's first years than changing it every other year,  so unhappy we can have long conversations with our now grown up kids about life, love and the choices they make and not about what nail color is best to wear or diet to follow or any other silly (to not say stupid) thing that can cross our minds.  When you think about it,  than unhappiness is a blessing.

Sunset by Melissa Reyes Segarra

In life everything is about balance!  We can't always being pursuing perfection in how we look, as neither we can always be pounding our heads against the wall because sometimes life just sucks.  It's about being happy with ourselves.  Happiness and peace aren't things we can have because someone gives it to us, theses are things we need to look for within our own souls.  It isn't easy to nestle them inside you and it can take some time as we seek them.  For some it will be spirituality, faith, their nirvana, or whatever you may call it. Nevertheless, the important thing is that we're working at it.    

I stumbled upon all the requirements of happiness in a gathering I hosted  on Mother's Day weekend.  I was blasted away with the majority of the conversations that we're going around.  Everyone there seemed to be only worried about how they and people they know looked!

The climax of the afternoon was when someone told one of my cousins who was visiting from New Jersey as she walked in was, "You're a little fatter than the last time you were around." Wow!  I think she looks amazing, she's not the bare bones type, but nevertheless she's a beauty. That's only her outer beauty, because her inner beauty is even more breathtaking.   What an upsetting thing to point out to a person you haven't seen for a while, and the worst part is that  people who say  these types of things get away with it.  

"...find your own recipe for happiness and live up to it!"

Don't think for a minute I'm the hero here because I'm not.  Some time ago, I would've been doing and talking about the same things they were.  I was as obsessed as they are about being skinny, clothes, nail polish, etc. etc.  What changed me?  I would probably say that I took a hard look at myself this past Christmas and came to the conclusion that I needed to change a couple of things, but overall my life was great.  All I needed to do was appreciate what I had!

Thank God life is dynamic, we are always changing and for those who don't have the capacity of change is for who I really feel sorry for.  Remember we are and always will be a work in progress.  Life is more than what we have or look like, it's all about being able to wake up in the morning and discovering what the day has to offer you through its ups and downs.  Don't let others dictate how you're suppose to live, that's your job.  Last, but not least find your own recipe for happiness and live up to it because if you don't know yourself, who does?